Style error -- non-parallel construction
e.g.
1)
X -- The crack growth resistance of AF115 increased with increasing the solid solution temperature... -- X
Better -->
O -- The crack growth resistance
of AF115 increased
as the solid solution
temperature
(was) increased... -- O
e.g.
2)
X -- This development was made possible by metallographic analysis and controlling technology ... -- X
Better -->
O -- This development was
made possible by
metallographic analysis and control technology ... -- O
e.g
3)
X -- ...the maximum value of the tensile stress is enlarged with increasing value of the outer radius of the coil. -- X
Better -->
O -- ...the maximum value of the tensile
stress increases
as
the value of the outer radius of the coil increases. -- O
e.g.
4)
X -- However, as getting a growth in wind speed, the frequency of the torsional bridge mode decreases and approaching to that of the TPD gradually. -- X
Better -->
O -- However, as wind speed increases, the frequency of
the torsional bridge mode decreases and gradually approaches that of the TPD. -- O
Non-parallel sentence construction is clumsy and the exact meaning is sometimes unclear.
e.g.
1)
X --...melanins which originated from the ink of a cuttlefish... --X
Better -->
O --...melanins which originated
from cuttlefish
ink...--
O
e.g.
2)
X -- The mix is sheared between the front surface of a rotor and the surface of a barrel.-- X
Better -->
O -- The mix is sheared
between the
front rotor surface and the barrel surface. -- O
Use of a noun phrase is more economical with words and has a 'tighter' style.
e.g.
X -- It has a biologically important function for protecting physical bodies...-- X
Better -->
O -- It has an important biological function in protecting physical
bodies...-- O
This uses only adjectives -- a more 'parallel' style, rather than mixing adverbs & adjectives. Note the order of adjective use. It also uses the correct preposition -- 'in' rather than 'for'.
e.g.
1)
X -- ...we thought that it should be resemble to that of lignin... -- X
Better -->
O -- ...
it is thought to resemble that of lignin... -- O
This uses the passive (it is thought) and infinitive (to resemble) verb forms which are more appropriate for technical writing.
e.g.
2)
X -- ...we couldn't separate the extracellular extract ... -- X
Better -->
O -- ...
it was not possible to separate the extracellular extract... -- O
This uses the passive (it was not possible) and infinitive (to separate) verb forms which are more appropriate for technical writing.
NB -- What WE DID is not important -- What WAS DONE is important.
Style Error -- Wrong pronoun
e.g.
X --...the residual absorbance at 470 nm was 9%, while the one at 280nm was 71%... -- X
Better -->
O --...the residual absorbance
at 470 nm was 9%, while that at 280nm was 71%... -- O
