Style error -- Word order
e.g.
X -- ...but the enzymes related to the decolorization is possible to be induced...--X
Better -->
O -- ...but
it is possible to induce the enzymes related to the decolorization...-- O
Style error -- Wrong noun / wrong preposition
e.g.
X -- ...that is, the affections by nitrogen, oxygen, manganese, induction and the necessity of both extra- and intra-crude extracts... -- X
Better -->
O -- ......that is, the effects of nitrogen, oxygen,
manganese, induction and the need for both extra- and intra-crude extracts...-- O
Style Error -- adverb distant from verb
e.g.
X -- ...the extract separated from the culture could not decolorize the synthesized melanin independently. -- X
Better -->
O -- the extract separated
from the culture could not independently decolorize the synthesized melanin.
-- O
Place adverbs close to their verbs for clear meaning.
Style error -- wrong position of 'by' phrase / use of 'we' / word order
e.g.
X -- In the melanin decolorization with the fungus, by limiting nitrogen and oxygen in the culture, we could control whether to leave or not the UV absorption ability of the melanin. -- X
Better -->
O -- In the melanin decolorization
with the fungus, it was possible to control whether or not to
leave
the UV absorption ability of the melanin, by limiting nitrogen
and oxygen in the culture. -- O
Style -- Use noun phrases rather than verb phrases
e.g.
1)
X -- Advances are also being made with superconducting magnets ... which are necessary for determining in detail the structures of proteins .... -- X
Better -->
O -- Advances are also being made with superconducting
magnets ... which are necessary
for
detailed determination of
the structures
of proteins .... -- O
e.g.
2)
X -- Thin strip material with no flatness defects is strongly required by the customers / users. -- X
Better
O -- Thin strip material
with no flatness defects is a major customer / user requirement.
-- O
Word Order -- Aspect
e.g.
X -- To support this bridge, the world's strongest cable, with a tensile strength of 180 kg per square mm, had to be developed. -- X
Better -->
O -- To support this bridge,
it
was necessary to develop the world's strongest cable, with a tensile strength
of 180 kg per square mm. -- O
The main point of this sentence is the phrase 'it was necessary to develop' and so it should be placed early in the sentence so the reader understands the focus.
Wrong expression
e.g.
X -- This method is used in real machine now at ... -- X
Better -->
O -- This method is now in actual use at ... -- O
BACK